Why Bad Things Happen in 3’s (and how to make them stop)
You’re sailing along having a great day with a fresh cup of your favorite coffee in your hand when suddenly…
…you get a phone call…
Bad news! And suddenly, the vibe of your day takes a turn for the worse. You brace yourself for the onslaught.
“Well, I guess I’m just not going to get anything done today.”
“Could this day gat any worse?”
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking or saying any of those things, you’re already caught in the trap. And if you’re caught in the trap, you can count yourself lucky if the bad things only come in 3s.
How the game works and why bad things happen in 3s.
Step 1. The unbalancing. You’re doing just fine when something unexpected happens. If it’s not in the script for what we had in mind for the day, this is often perceived as “bad.” It throws us off balance.
One part of you is putting out the fire, solving the problem, trying to figure out how and why it happened, while the other part- a more ancient part- is looking for mare problems to see if there’s anything more you need be worried about. Doubt creeps in. Maybe this day isn’t so great after all…
When you’re off balance, you’re more apt to make mistakes, especially if you’re starting to focus on what’s NOT working and what else could go wrong.
Step 2. Your mind finds (or creates) another problem. This is one of the magical powers of your mind- finding what it’s looking for. Commonly called conformation bias, the 2nd problem confirms that, “Yep, bad things are coming.”
The mind braces itself. Your energy scatters, and your emotions go from doubtful to worried or anxious.
It’s important to note that as your thoughts and emotions descend, you find yourself on paths that are taking you further and further away from what you really want.
Step 3. Compound and Amplify. Whether or not you actually believe that bad things happen in 3s, your mind and energy are primed for more problems. These thoughts and emotions amplify, which is a way of supercharging your creative abilities- but NOT in the good way! Essentially this is your head and heart aligning with what you DON’T want.
Another way things get amplified is triggering old wounds and traumas. If you’ve “been down this road before” things can blow up even more quickly and with more force. When a trauma is triggered, it brings you right back to that experience, and part of you is thinking, and reacting as if it were happening in the present.
The world is indifferent toward your results. In other words, the laws don’t work differently for things you do want as opposed to things you don’t want. The silver lining here is that you can apply this same formula to turn things around and keep you on the track toward your goals and purpose.
How to Turn it Around
It’s best if you can short-circuit the chain at the very start and keep your balance no matter what comes your way. Try this...
Instead of “Oh no,” shift your thinking to, “Hmm…this must be what I needed.”
This will instantly shift your inner world from looking for problems to looking for solutions and opportunities, and you'll also get a little extra elbow room from your emotions around the event.
You’ll be able to keep your balance and surf the waves of change (spoiler alert, things are ALWAYS changing).
If you’re already in the throes of a “Bad day,” you’re going to need something more dramatic. Some sort of pattern interrupt.
The first thing is to STOP before you make things worse. Take a break. Go for a walk. Put on some of your favorite music. Go for a drive. Something to move your body, distract your mind, and most importantly, break up the flow of energy before you get sucked in any further.
Think of it as hitting the reset button. Incidentally, if you want more energy, focus, and productivity, this is something you want to do regularly throughout your day anyway.
You'll want to STOP…
- Trying to figure everything out.
- Fighting to control the situation and players.
- Wondering how it all happened or where it went wrong.
- Releasing control
Basically the opposite of what we’re used to doing.
Moving from Personal to Universal
This is what's happening on a personal level and how a day can go from great to terrible in record time.
When things get into the collective, they tend to amplify exponentially.
2020. Need I say more?
It’s at once awe inspiring and horrifying what we can accomplish when we are aligned as a collective, but there is no reason that you have to live in that energy, or from that paradigm. Your life is yours to live as you choose.
Bad things, or at the very least, unexpected things, happen all the time.
In fact, try removing the word “Bad” from your vocabulary for a week and see what happens. Because the judgement you place on the circumstance or event isn't useful in the least. What really matters is how you relate to it.
Your unwavering commitment toward your goals is the difference between getting knocked off balance or skillfully navigating the winds of change.
That doesn’t mean fighting constant battles with the world, or even with yourself. That’s a total waste of time and energy. Unwavering commitment doesn’t need to be held with an iron grip. In fact, if you do it that way, you’ll collapse from exhaustion in no time.
Unwavering commitment is gently making the decision to stay your true course again and again- no matter what comes your way.
This is the key to Enlightened Living.
The Mystic Next Door
P.S. If "knowing" were enough to make a change, we'd be the most peaceful and enlightened planet ever. Enlightened Living is a skill.
Here is where you can learn the tools to keep you happy, healthy, and productive for the long term on your path. Next class is coming up soon.