Remember that stranger at the post office who was afraid my Tesla would explode?
I've been thinking about him this week. I really wish I had thought to get a selfie with him. And more importantly...
He wasn't really asking about lithium batteries. He was asking about the courage to change. About the fear of trying something different, something that might not work out.
Something that could blow up in your face or set your life on fire (not in the good way)…
And the more I think about it, the more I realize that most of us are walking around afraid that WE might explode if we finally choose ourselves.
The Fear of Self-Love
Afraid that if we stop performing perfection, people will leave.
Afraid that if we show our real selves, we'll be rejected.
Afraid that if we pursue what we actually want, we'll fail spectacularly.
So we keep parts of ourselves locked away in cases, like instruments we're too scared to play.
A few months ago, I picked up my trumpet after 10 years in storage. It felt like part of me had been sitting locked in that case, and I was finally ready for him to come out and see what he had to say.
When I opened it, I knew exactly what I wanted to play— jazz. My first love. The music I was too afraid to pursue when I was younger because it required too much…honesty.
What's Locked in Your Case?
Are there parts you locked in a case? Waiting for permission to come out and play?
Here's what I want you to know.
You have permission— to be exactly as you are.
I don’t say this lightly. In years of researching and developing this work, it turns out that permission is a pretty big deal.
As kids we relied on it. Especially when we were afraid. But as we grew up, those who gave us permission were either not as present, or gone all together. So it’s left to us to grant it for ourselves.
Except there are parts of you that still feel like a child— wholly unqualified to make these decisions. Your brilliant mind calculating all the ways you could be wrong. And all the horrible things that will happen if you are.
So if you need a permission slip, this is it. Not forever. Just until you can write your own.
Permission for…
Your desire to grow. To be more of who you were born to be.
Your dreams that feel too big. To pursue them even if they seem too distant to get your attention in the chaos of everyday life.
Your need to express yourself as you are. To let yourself be seen. Not the curated theatrical cut. Your unfiltered Truth.
The False Choice That Keeps You Stuck
You don't have to choose between self-acceptance and growth. That's a false choice that keeps you stuck.
Your desire to become more of who you are? That's PART of who you are.
Self-love isn't about settling for mediocrity or giving up on your dreams. It's about ending the exhausting performance of perfection so you can recover that energy for what actually matters.
It's about trusting yourself enough to take risks. Believing you're worth the effort. Knowing that you can handle whatever happens when you stop playing it safe.
This Is Your Permission Slip
This is your permission slip to stop fighting the civil war inside yourself.
To go from fragmented, isolated—at war with yourself—to whole and free.
Free from the exhausting performance of perfection. Free to bring all of yourself to every moment. Free to trust that quiet voice inside that always knows the way.
I think of these words from Gandalf often: "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
You've been given this moment. This breath. This choice.
The Path Forward
The path forward isn't complicated, but it does require courage.
First, you need to calm the noise so you can hear your own wisdom. When you're constantly fighting yourself, you can't hear what you actually need or want.
Then comes the deeper work: learning to love every part of yourself back into wholeness. Even the parts you think don't deserve love. Especially those parts.
This isn't about becoming someone new. It's about remembering who you've always been underneath all the fear and posturing and trying to be what everyone else wants you to be.
Are You Ready?
Most people aren’t. If you’ve made it this far, I’m guessing you’re different.
Your permission slip is signed and sealed.
The only question left is: Are you ready to open the case? To pick up the instrument waiting to be played. The brush waiting to paint a masterpiece.
Ready to stop editing yourself for approval? Ready to trust your own voice? Ready to love yourself not despite your imperfections, but because of your wholeness?
If you’re ready, here is your Complete Self-Love System. It’s your step-by-step path to stop fighting yourself and finally become your own best friend. Your greatest ally. Your trusted consigliere.
All of you is welcome here. And all of you is needed for the road ahead,
Nick
The Mystic Next Door
P.S. That trumpet? Still sounds like me. That's what happens when you stop asking permission to be yourself.
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